My question to you sir is, if life was a person, would you be its friend? Yes? No? Maybe? After a few drinks maybe?
Oh dear in that case I think we should send you off to alcoholics anonymous. Don't worry I won't tell a soul.
So life. Is it a he or a she? Tall or short? Nice or mean? Hmm... well in this day and age I'd be a very game man to prescribe it a gender. Can't be sexist now! Can't be judgemental now! Can't Can't Can't...
It certainly seems there is a lot more of NO these days. A lot more of you SHOULDN'T say that. CAN'T say that! A man last week in the UK was sentenced and fined for a comment on Twitter. Yes, the comment was quite silly and with the benefit of hindsight we can easily say his extreme terrorist threat was of course meant to be a joke. Hmm nah mate, not a great idea. Not good at all. So that I can understand. You can understand as well I'm sure.
There's a lot of hurt feelings. Problems. Dangers. Social proprieties.
What I laugh at is that people lead complex and busy lives. We constantly claim... hmmm
'' it's complicated ''
'' it's hard to explain ''But go on a holiday. To a forest. A forest in the.. nowhere. Let me take you there:
The fresh smell of pine in the air. The forest floor covered in leaves and mud. The sun's warm spring rays of light sneak their way between the towering trees. One ray reaches down and strokes your cheek gently like only your mother can. You turn around and your tent rests peacefully in a small clearing. A small fox scampers across to it and sniffs about. Takes no interest in the foreign object and so runs off. There you are. A part of nature. A part of the beginning. A simple animal and a new chain in the delicate and brilliant ecosystem.
You return to realise there's a world out there. Another place where life goes on. Life exists in the simplest of circumstances. And yet, us humans, stand there so advanced in our ways that we are rendered useless in the face of a small interpersonal problem. Stricken with complexities beyond our apparent evolutionary reaches.
Oh yeah, I'm still in ONE of those moods. Put it down to skyping with one of my best friends from back home for the first time in 11 months. Haven't seen them for 11 months in the flesh or moving on screen. You know who you are. Enjoy the knowledge I've brought to light here regarding my upbeat disposition.
Everyone else, could you do me a favour please. Could you remind the sun to come up tomorrow, I think he had a bad day yesterday. Thanks a bunch.
Oh dear. I got that whole way and then assigned the sun a gender. Please don't sue me.